bliss

we've come to a point when the only interesting and productive topic to talk about is our future (and how scary and challenging it's gonna be) and about, well, marriage. face it people, we're matured. at least in certain circumstances.

i've done what i'm supposed to. the voice in my head has amazingly stopped.platonic is safe. and being truly honest will really get that heavy feeling off your chest. terima kasih kerana faham. i appreciate that.

and then u sit down and wonder if you're gonna make the right choices in life. how sure are you? what if u made that choice only to realise that it's not gonna work sometime later in the future?won't that be months or even years of your life wasted?

the future is really tough, people.responsibilities. decisions. wow.

Two girls just mentioned that i need to spice up my boring blog by talking about them. These 2 girls are Diyana and Nazurah. anyways, they...ahh forget it.

:)

my habitual lateness is starting again. damn it shikin, when will you ever learn to manage your time properly?

Heath Ledger, you'll be missed.



but mostly,
i hate the way i don't hate you
not even close,
not even a little bit,
not even at all

how do i NOT love thee

ahh i love 9 september. pierre andre is soo manjaaa i sukerrr. fasha's gorgeous seh, despite the doraemon voice. and the whole story's great lah. meleleh airmata you know!

school's ok i guess.despite being penat coz of long breaks in between. i bet we'd appreciate them more since projects are piling up. aishah's being a total pain in the butt but i love her so haha. bila nak taubat eh kita? and i miss nad, diy and dore. macam tak complete gituk.

train rides home spell mp3 and sleep. i read from a book yesterday.. sleepwatching's the new meditation. but seriously, you wouldn't want to see me sleep in the train. you'd be embarrassed for me.

oh yah happy 21st to baby. seriously, stop thinking the world revolves around you. haha.

anyways, i don't think i can survive this. somebody's gonna get hurt, (do not think russel peters) eventually. and honestly, i don't want that to happen. i played with fire seh. tulah pandai-pandai lagi. now i don't have the guts to face the consequences.kalau boleh i don't want anyone to get hurt but that would be too much to ask for because dah blardy obvious pun. but i can't stop this. i don't know how. and i don't wanna lose what we have. again too much to ask for sebab it's bound to happen. you win some, you lose some. but nobody said anything about being broken!

why must it get this difficult? how confident am I of the next few steps I'm gonna take? why am i still affected by everything though i thought i had made up my mind? why is it so complicated? why am i still agreeing to everything? why does it hurt so much?

i'm losing this, people.

bye.

nothing lasts forever

hello.

school's ok. timetable kinda sucks. tak sama class ngan diy. sungguh sedih. and to make it worse, she's always missing me. sigh, diy, diy, kenapa bintang?

and lagi banyak kenapas..

kenapa beri harapan kalau tak bersungguh-sungguh?
kenapa tarik diri bila belum mula?
kenapa terasa walau tiada apa-apa?
kenapa resah bila tak dengar berita?
kenapa teringat masa berdua bila terdengar lagu kita?
kenapa termenung teringatkan si dia?

tapi..

si dia tu siapa?
kenapa-kenapa ni semua untuk siapa?

ah korang,
nadiya ngan nazurah,
jangan macam paham.

:)

again, i'm not in love.

the minimalist

wow.
i wonder why i actually felt bad and bothered to make you feel better.
wo.

shikin shikin, what have you gotten yourself into?

hang-out, hang-out,
bukan dating.

yup. i'll keep telling myself that.

here comes emotional boy numero uno dos.

hardyboyz and the walls of jericho

i hate it when ppl talk about them getting a driving license at their first attempt.yes, i stil cannot get over it. call me busok or soreloser or whatever. aku masih tak boleh get over that blardy fact and i cannot bring myself to book another TP date. kenapa? entah. kalau korang pass first attempt, sorry i hate you. kalau pass terus ada kereta, go away ok. just go away.

hatiku dah terguris. HAHA. diam ah.

2008, shikin. kena be stronger. kena be more organised. kena cekalkan hati. kena belajar masak (this one, cakap jer dari lepas O levels, tak pandai-pandai, tapi i can cook nasi goreng, kalau Asmah Laily rasa, dia cakap.. YA AMPUN SEDAPNYA). kena qatam Quran. yer saya masih belum qatam. kena baca banyak buku. kena keep myself happy. temper kena mantain. kena make it a point to tanya khabar kawan-kawan yang dah lama tak jumpa. kena save duit. hati kena terbuka, maklumlah, nak carik calon suami (Amin, tak yah nak roll your eyes and ask me to stop dreaming). ada banyak lagi yang kena buat, tapi tengoklah macam mana. ohh kena try new things!

kita dah try Ice-skating tau! super fun i tell you. kaki sampai melecet and lebam.

thanks for the first time (HAHA!inside joke). i love korangs walaupun kalau lucky, kita jumpa for breakfast at Mcdonalds once a month jer. :)

i want to try the luge. i want to rollerblade. i want to rockclimb. i want to go-kart. i want to learn to play the drums. i want to date different guys and not feel compelled to be in a relationship or be called a bitch, perempuan gatal or yang sewaktu dengannya.

i wished something could be done on 15th August 1986 so Soraya could be saved. there's totally no justice in the way she died and i hate you men for that.

current read: In the name of honour, calvin and hobbes

song for the moment? still Lifehouse. and Taufik Sexysah-Berserah

currently missing-Kekeks.gazing at the stars whilst listening to favourite music.

romantic or what.

k bye. happy 08 people.

love semua!