macam lama tak dengar kan.

perasaan aku?

happy. i am really,really proud of you.but i'm gonna miss you sooo much. :( boleh nangis sebaldi seh. tahan beb, maintain. esok rabak. confirm.

perasaan aku?

dah tawar hati dah. dah tak kuasa pun nak beri pendapat atau kata-kata semangat. last-last dektu jugak yang kau pilih per. nama dia jugak yang kau sebut-sebut. buang masa aku aje.

perasaan aku?

entah. aku tahu niat kau baik (sebab pernah kena coloured). tapi tak payahlah semasa kau keluar dengan dia pun nak text aku. hairan bin ajaib. kelakar seram pun ada.

perasaan aku?

penat tapi excited. orang kata ghairah ah. part mengajar je. seminggu perhatikan mereka. insyaAllah aku yakin. tentang takde life ke apa semua, tu hal ehwal masing-masing. yang penting, sabar.

and go. lepaskan frust menonggeng kau tu. lepaskan bad stress. pressure tak perlu simpan sorang-sorang. yang rugi pun nanti engkau juga. kalau stress tu ringan-ringankan lah tangan call/sms aku, ajak keluar makan ke. tapi tak semestinya aku layan. mungkin kalau kau nak belanja makan, aku on. ;P

anyways, semalam best. dah lama tak keluar and have sooo much fun. on a wednesday night lagik. terharu tengok keakraban dorang bertiga.walaupun semua dah berpunya. (eh macam ryhme). "members" aku? hah. tak usah lah cakap. buat malu aje.

oklah aku dah penat nak fikirkan apa-apa yang membelenggu fikiran aku ni.

oh lagi satu. aku suka tau budak-budak ni. they're sooo innocent. i mean it's pretty obvious we'll know their names right. like hello, they have name tags. this P-satu boy cakap dengan aku tadi...

him: cikgoo, how you know our names?
me: i have special powers.
him: given to you by..?
me: God.
him: Allah?
me : nods and :)

cute kan? haha.

bye.besok yawn sampai pukul empat. lepas tu shiokalicious.

perasaan kau pula?

shit. i'm so incompetent.

go away

just when i thought i'd be soo ready, mentally prepared for what the next stage in life has to offer for me, i was punched in the guts. mind you, i've gotten over the fact that we have to report starting next week as crappy as that may sound. but now this. seriously. no offence but, oh god.what the fark are you guys doing up there man?

sigh. i can just go on and on and on.

others have it worse so MOVE ON.

p.s:happy birthday sis and cousin!

last, last. fuck ah.

apa hitam, terbang dan patut mati?

i think they'd have to amputate my left leg. if not, my left littlest toe.

damn you stupid flying icky icky thing of a cockroach.

peeple

i am still up at 2.42 am. yippee! i'm gonna read a book next. anyways i can't stop peeing. and i have a full blown tummy oredi. thanks to carbonara. awesomeness. godknows how many plates i had in April. some even after midnight. great shikin. good job. now you panic. ok not really ah. depressed sikit jer.

anyways i love the fact that i'm not schooling tomorrow. can spend the day with ajiqo the nephew.laze around. golek here golek there.make a nuisance of myself. then petang tido. then bangun watch suci, then abang andrin yummylicious after that. crycry watching saerah fuuh! best. i love this kinda life. then bonus kalau money just come in every month, without fail. i wish eh. manalah saudagar aku tu. tak muncul muncul. tengah shapekan goatee ke bang? hurr.

my 10+1 weeks of practicum ended. berhooraylah aku sekarang.
next hurdle: three years babe, 3 years. God give me strength, patience, and lots of ideas. memories. good, bad, funny ones. above all, love eh? next phase in life. again, don't hope too much.

was told about a junior of mine from sec school who passed away last friday. bike accident. i saw his FB and cried reading what his friends wrote abt him. i don't know him and i already felt a loss. imagine what his friends might feel man. and to think a few days before, he wrote that he was actually thinking of selling his bike. innalillah wainnaillahirajiun. Semoga dicucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya. Amin. My AlFateha and doa for you bro. ride and drive safe people.

it's scary isn't it? and he added yes, it is. even scarier when you're not ready for it. in my mind, i was like... there he goes agaaaiinnn, belittling the fact that it's true. it's so damn true. and it's so so scary.

ok i might read. or not. it's three. fiction by the way. "The Inheritance of Loss". pretty apt. lovely phrases. indian author. pandai berbual. pandai belit.biasa jugak.aint a stereotype. daymn true.tak happy duduk atas ah. atas kambing.

ok bye.
how pathetic.why'd i do that for?

are you user-friendly?

felt used? too many times?
then yes, you are.

it's time for payback.
hit em where it hurts.
you soo know their weakest points by now.
hurr.

or wait for karma.
lily allen's smile in the background.

tak faham aku.

randomblings

finally i saw danish with his eyes open just now. babies are so adorable. scared myself shit watching Jangan Tegur. da soundeffects should stoppit. and the rasuk parts are so scary it's awesome. yeah i freaked out. thumbsup to my shayang (pierre) wahahaha. much better than congkak and jpb. much.

then had steamboat with family. lunch at eighteen chefs. fuuh hari ni i think i gained 3 kg. did i tell you briyani ayam zam zam at 9pm yesternight? ok that is 1 kilo added already. then tomorrow, most prolly, pastamania, normal favouritest carbonara with lotsa tobasco sauce damn i'm salivating oredi. again, 1 more kilo. baik.

anyways the "breakup" didn't happen. he said to remember the torturous night he put me thru as "THE NIGHT". suka hati kaulah. sadly, it didn't happen then. but i think we're moving towards it. damnradicalthinking.

ok if a guy tells you where he'll be the next day and what he's gonna do there, he probably wants you to be there as well. if you don't turn up, his life goes on. if you do turn up, he'll be soo surprised to see you there. padahal he's the one who told you where he'd be. ni case dua-dua gatal.really.

where am i getting at? i have no idea. told ya i'm random.

and i'm sexcited as hell waiting for the outcome to all this. u know they say you need a bigger lie to cover the lie u made in the first place. no. this is not it. it doesn't involve lies. it involves you. and just plain nothing.at all. n-o-t-h-i-n-g. i'm taking a backseat watching. been a one(or two) man show all along.lets see how the saga continues.

aaanyways, diyana bte mohamad. (there, i said ur name)

bye!