oh dear lord why am i ranting so much

let us mourn the loss....
of my emotions.

i think i just died.

my immune system's going haywire.
da cramps struck me the whole day (and night).
i'm a walking zombie.
my purple extensions don't entice me anymore.

i want to run away.
go to Pattaya.
then come back when i feel like it.
or not come back at all.

then i'll feign a psychotic drama episode.
so i'll be released from ze bonbond.

very senang cakap.

i'll get back on my feet lah.

i just need some motivation.

and air tickets to Thailand

:)

honestly?

honestly,

i've been too lazy to be in full study mode. i'm still leaving things to the last minute. i have yet to start reading my sastera books. I'm more engrossed in my own English novel. macam shit.

honestly,

i'm not in the best of health. the cough annoys me. and the head and stomach's in pain due to all the coughing. but i'll be OK. cough medicine made me sleep for 14 hours yesternight. can you top that babies?

honestly,

like her and them, i cannot get over the fact that he's gone. i think the whole time he was sick, i was in denial, thinking he would get better. i guess everyone's in disbelief coz it was too soon. i'm still in denial now. it just hurts ok. totally not helping that i miss him so so much and have to remain strong all the time, not breaking infront of nenek and the aunts.

i miss you atok. a lot.

come on world, be strong.

there's others with worse problem than you.

.pee.M.ass.

gawd. i hate it when the perangai macam soyal. and to top it off, there's no valid reason for it. i'm blaming it on the olympics. there's absolutely no freakin interesting shows on ze tube and i am soo having ultimate lazy nak mampos cells all over my blood and veins i cannot even start on the reflections. i am ranting. i am pathetic. i officially hate school. yes.

i ate mighty large spoonfuls of that walls chocolate heaven ice cream and yes, it lived up to its' name. i am bloated and full, very full in fact but i ate em ice-cream like it's air. much much needed for me to survive the night. omg aku so drama.

i hate the fact that you don't know your words hurt like crap.
and i hate the fact that i love it,that your words hurt like crap.
i hate myself, sometimes.

and i hate you too.

nolah i don't, i'm just adding on to the drama.

i need some live acoustic music.
i need some good pee in your pants humour.
i need some soothing serenades.
i need someone to make me smile like...forever.
i need the stars that will shine oh so so brightly.
i need the sand, the sun and the pretty pretty beach.
and i need to be left alone.
and i need to be subdued.
and and
i need to shut up and start on my reflections.

tee.hee.hee.

PMS boleh buat aku gila dan korang semua tak faham.

just dont bother.
myob.shoo.

in your atmosphere

the blog is screeeaming for an update. me, as usual, too malas to type what's been happening. now i kinda forgot everything already. damn this supershort-term memory.

kekek's having a meetup in less than 4 hours. exciting! it's been soo long, so i really hope idah can make it, almaklumlah ndp's soo yesterday.

so how's first week of school?for a start, i don't really have complaints about the timetable, though there's only a one hour class on friday. but wth, live with it lah hor. other than that, i guess first 2 week's da honeymoon period. assignment topics are in, sounds like crap. i forsee last minute struggles. oh what's new. i'll learn some day, i'll learn some day. right.

ooh did i tell you i went back to the TA school? the expressions on my kids' faces were priceless! ahaks. i even managed to make faces to a particular p4 boy. hurhurhur. perangai tol. then i saw my minah. yes, the one who called me a minah. amidst people singing those songs and waving the flags, she stood up and walked straight towards me, salam-ed and asked "cikgu buat per kat sini?".the minah junior way, no less. so, minah senior answered "saya punya suka lah". and we both laughed. she laughed hard and loud k. oh this one's got my attention. haha. you tell me who's the minah ..

i'd love to think it's not me :)

i went blading too! like finally!so, me, diy and aishah macam pahamed our way from area C to the lagoon. and get this, stopped to eat satays and chicken wings. HAHA. tak pernah-pernah aku buat gituk. then we skated our way back. and was 15 minutes earlier than our targeted time.baik!who broke the record? me lah of course. i fell. twice.thank god for the guards.all's well. i'm still cute.diam.

again! anytime!

hey babe, i'm here for you. you know that right? they say what doesn't kill you,makes you stronger? this is not even close to killing you. you're stronger than you know.we know it. face it and stop polluting your body with crap please. hugs. good love is on the way ;p. ily.

Wherever I go,
Whatever I do,
I wonder where I am in my relationship to you.
Wherever you go,
Wherever you are,
I watch that pretty life play out in pictures from afar.

bye!

p.s: stoppit. nanti kena bantai kat luar.

zomg

the thing about having your old(er) man (who tends to joke about everything) in the hospital is.. you don't know whether he's really ok or really sick. come on love, stop scaring yourself, you'll be fine. :)

the thing about being a big procrastinator is, you get things done..late. or better yet, for my case, you don't get things done.

and then you feel bad and regret. then life goes on and you make the same mistakes again.

when will i ever learn i wonder.

i'm stuck on lifehouse again.

oh the melancholy.

1.83m.tall.hot.

k bye.