yes baby, it hurts

As I drown myself in self-pity, let me introduce you to a song that will rip all your emotions apart. It's just so beautiful, it's painful. aku sumpah tak faham kenapa aku suka lagu depressing. sigh~ Abang Shahrul Anuar yang ku cintai, take it away baby! (inappropriate sebab lagu seeelllooowww nak mampos)



anyways, in case you secretly admire me and is an avid reader of my blog (shikin, please, stop it.) it would be good for you to know that I'm not enjoying life at the moment. Seems like I'm dreading what I love. I drag my feet everyday.I've done some bad things I'm not proud of and I know I shouldn't have done them. Those actions were uncalled for. Now I'm freaking scared lor. So now it all comes down to patience, again. Tapi takpe, God knows what's best for me and I love you God. :)

And I miss THEM so very much it sucks.

So, what can you do to make me feel better? How about getting Anuar Zain to propose to me? Yes, I lied. I cannot forget him(please, how can I ever?) How about getting a cutie plus hot nak mampos guy named S***** to sing for me? Roses? Chocolates? A trip round the world? Endless supply of money?

The point is, nothing will make me feel better unless I WANT to feel better (and change my outlook on this) because nobody cares about what shit you are going through, girl, it's all up to you. Like I've mentioned, so many times, life doesn't wait for you to get back on your feet and love, the world doesn't revolve around you, and you only. (ya betul)

right. breathe in, breathe out. take everything in your stride.

oh by the way. I've gained so much weight and flab joking about it is just not funny anymore. I should start jogging. Boleh jugak let out steam.

erm yah before I leave, you can get the cutie to sing for me and I will not only love you, I will love you with all my heart. How about?

Much love,
Shikin rawks (all the time)

merpati

Like OMG, dah 2007?and it's already the 5th day. doesn't feel like it ryte?? Time sure is flying by soo fast mangs it's scaree maree.

so how has the early days of 07 treated me? from what i know, it's too soon to complain, yet again, that life's a bitch (and so is you know who). anyways i haven't said that (and meant it) in eons. so i guess, Alhamdulillah.

anyways, kenapa shikin confused? lets see, school/work's started. obviously aku excited.determined though, to instil discipline in whoever i'll be teaching.

jadi first day muka cramp, tak senyum to the boys until assembly period and one of my boys screamed "CIKGU SHIKIN!!!!" and flashed a big smile and waved at me. alah sayang, how to not smile back?

hope and pray. hope and pray. alas,not hard enough. guess what? satu class pun i didn't get. with the new addition to the department, who's perm btw. so you can imagine lah.

aku senyum, cakap "takpe". Tuhan jer tahu how remuk I was inside, at that moment ohkay. i swear i was so broken when i reached home but Mom wasn't there to console me. Too bad.

The next day in school when i saw my boys, coming out of the malay class, I literally cried. sound effect jer. takde airmata pun.haha.

however, i will get to teach the weaker ones to read. Alhamdulillah.

Blessing in disguise. This year, academic is utmost importance. Ada observations by Nos. 1 and 2 lah, book checking and more tedious lesson plans. Alhamdulillah again, i dont have to do all that. Thankful, for the moment, coz u just never know huh.

Pretty contradicting episodes yeah? And that's not all.

Had to relief a certain class. Rowdy. Sumpah aku bingit, then, i received a card from one of them. and he's not one of the well behaved ones in class, mind you. THAT,my dear, shall be my source of motivation. (since i dont have Nabil to shout "Go Kin Go!" to me...eh tu zaman O levels la dok)

lagi satu. met the naughtiest boy in tt class in school tadi (CCA day btw. tell me abt it. sekolah rendah ada cca day; so tak skolah for the boys..banyaklah akademik). and he told me he promised he'll be good starting next week :)

how can i not love em? aiyayaiyayai...

anyways my sec1 boys are missing the school HAHA. 2 came back yesterday, cikgu shikin-ed!and salam-ed me. I can never thank Him enuff for the contentment I'm feeling. Alhamdulillah..

so i guess, although i did feel down in the first week, the bliss and joy I felt topped that,totally.

Syukur to the Almighty, friends, my boys and family. I love you guys so and I hope you're living every minute of the year, with smiles in your hearts. Insya-Allah. Amin.

Alah touching lah pulak kan?

Much LLOOOOOOOVVEEEEE and BIG hugs,

shikin rawks!

so wads up?

right. holidays are over. back to school on wednesday. orientation orientation orientation.

in fact, school's started for us already. had a super long meeting yesterday. new faces, old faces, long winded lectures. hmmmmm. havent quite received the timetable for next year. lets just hope for now haha.

meetups with the clueless teachers later. and of course with kekeks for dinner. yowza!

so what did I do the past few days? what did YOU do?

watched two plays, met old friends, flirted, clubbing, skinny-dipped,dating with strangers, save the planet, yeah those usual stuff.

heh up to you whether you wanna believe em or not. yang penting, i spent an unforgiveable sum of moolahs (I still cannot accept tt fact) and i gained weight. kecewa. but still look good (denial).

anyways, went out with my boys to Vivo lol. Huge, boring place. watched Night at the museum which was funny lah can. I've always loved Ben Stiller. and Ahkmenrah's cute.

aku dah tak inspired to blog about anything. oh anyone making new year resolutions??

for a start, stop procrastinating, love. and the berangans must stop it. Quran and surah Yasin, bukan perhiasan alryte?

ok I'll leave with this clip from Anugerah Muzik Indonesia 06. Powerhouse musik nusantara on one stage singing their hit songs. everytime they start singing a new song, I'll scream in excitement. kalau fadly (padi) nyanyikan I, confirm cair. oh a word of caution, hearts may stop beating when Ariel comes in because he's Oooohhh Soooo FFiiinnnnneee. Just breathe girls, breathe. ;P






selamat hari raye semua! christmas tak main lah eh. dan tak usah lah party for the new year. much love!

take that!!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people don't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people the right to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

everyone: 'AAAAHHHHHHH'....ooh dont forget to nod ur head at the same time

ps: from the movie Coach Carter.yeah girls, we watched this one. Said by the Timo Cruz guy, the gangsta(kaper) who looks like Omar. hurhurhur

irreconcilable differences

OMG i cannot believe Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon are separated!!! HAIYAH!! What happened to happily ever after???????????? till death do us part? bollocks.

Anyways, I'm gonna miss my 'Guangzhou'!!!Come home safely and fatter I hope ok minah!

yang kena kepit tu

oh-oh! and Bakar's in Berita Minggu (updated, berita harian too! click). Front page beb. Kebanggaan! tapi dia anak Arab lah....and sheikh? saudagar unta ke kambing? heh heh heh siapa yang ada crush on him dulu yati? KWANG KWANG KWANG.

u eh shariffah??? hehe

ok bye!! swimming tomorrow! (done) :)